My Rollercoaster Ride of Faith with God

As a child growing up, I was exposed to worshipping different deities at Chinese temples as well as at home; my maternal grandmother played a vital role in my faith formation then, being my primary caregiver. Even my paternal grandmother was an ancestral worshipper, and both taught me about praying to my ancestors as well as certain deities every month as part of my religious obligations.

When I entered secondary school, part of my curriculum required me to take up a religious subject as an examinable component, and since Buddhist studies was offered, I took it up to fulfill the requirements then. I did well in the subject, and even had thoughts about becoming a monk when I was older.

It was only at college that Christianity was brought to my attention via one of my classmates, but by then my foundation in Buddhism had already been established, so I held on strongly to my beliefs, and rejected everything my classmate shared with me.

Moving on to my national service days, I was again bombarded by Christian followers who were very persistent in sharing the Word of God with me during the weekends I was out of camp. However, instead of becoming influenced, I stood firm, and even chased many of them away using threats sometimes. When I started working thereafter, I experienced lesser encounters with faith converters; this was a relief initially but at the same time, I started feeling a sense of uncertainty as I was pursuing my career.

I finally ended up searching for answers by approaching a Catholic priest and underwent a series of inquiry (a bit like RCIA, but one-on-one) with the aim of getting baptised eventually but I stopped midway to pursue my undergraduate studies overseas for the next 5 years, and that was where I ended up completing my entire RCIA journey. Unfortunately, I did not get baptised thereafter because my father wanted me to do so back in Singapore and this was a temporary setback but at the same time, it showed that my father had finally accepted my decision to convert after disallowing initially.

Returning to Singapore did not mean that I was baptised immediately, as I underwent challenges in staying faithful with no support, and for the next few years I was once again lost in my own world. I believe this was when God called me back because I found myself returning to church. After encountering the Catholic faith in 1993 (when I underwent my one-on-one RCIA), I was finally baptised at Easter in 2008. As a newly baptised, (also known as a ‘Neophyte’) I probably would have lapsed in my faith formation, if it had not been for my wife-to-be whom I met a year earlier.

Kindly allow me to share a bit about my wife, and especially about how she played a vital role in my faith formation. When I was undergoing my third RCIA journey back in Singapore, my priest had asked me to pray for intentions and one of mine was to be presented with a life partner who was not only strong in the faith but could also walk the faith journey together with me throughout my lifetime. My wife appeared soon after, and after getting married in 2009, we have been journeying together in faith since then. She is a cradle Catholic, so we share lots of interesting moments in discussing our differences about understanding the Catholic faith as well as other religions.

Coming back to my faith journey, I have to say that life as a converted Catholic is never a bed of roses, and the true test of my faith came when I contracted cancer in 2017 and had to undergo both chemotherapy and radiotherapy treatments as well as a major surgery subsequently. I fell in and out of faith during the next few years, and this was when I encountered God eventually. From loved ones I knew to complete strangers I will never meet, I experienced the love of God in so many ways that I lost count eventually. After almost 5 years of remission from my cancer, I continue to see God at work in my life through the miracles that happen or the saints (people) that appear in my life every now and then.

Taking a moment to look back on my life as a converted Catholic, I feel very blessed to for being accepted into the church community and getting to know my brothers and sisters in Christ. As I continue my journey of faith with God, I know that there will always be obstacles we have to overcome. I just have to pray to God that He will grant me the grace to trust in Him always, and also to increase my faith with His ever-lasting providence. I believe that every time a door is closed in our life, God will open another new door for us thereafter; God’s delays are never His denials, and He will always find a way when there seems no way.

May God bless you and your loved ones always, Amen!

Thank you for taking the time to read my sharing above, and before we part, I like to leave you with the following questions below for reflection:

The Past 50 Years

Kevin Lee

Reflection Questions